What a dog!

Sheena, our black lab mix wonderdog died over a year ago, but sometimes as I'm waking up in the morning, I could swear she's next to my bed. I wrote the following at my Writers' Group this week:

To Sheena

Our ritual-
Cold nose nudges my face
as morning intrudes
into my bed
I place my hand
on your soft head
You run for the door
and come back,
tail wagging as I
Rise
from dreams of sand
and twisted shells
I stretch,
pull on my empty pockets
up to my knees
and laugh
Wrong pants!
Quick change
and we’re off
to carve out
our walk
Along the sunflowered paths

-Kathi

Reunion time

What a wonderful few days we've had! Last week, knowing that Kristinn was coming in to town for a few days, I invited some of her high school friends to come over for a belated birthday party/reunion. Kristinn and I were both happily surprised when Luci showed up all the way from Brownsville along with "locals" Ricky, Kelly, Priscilla, and Jennifer, AND Casey from Houston. It was great fun catching up with everyone- you know how it is when you are going to visit with people you haven't seen in years, and when they finally arrive, it's as if time is suspended? That's what it felt like. All of these 30 somethings were my students back in middle school in South San Antonio and all very special to me because not only were they (and still are) amazing people, they were also Kristinn's friends and spent time at our house or on trips. Luci and Ricky went with me to the Y.O. Ranch to present a project we did in our GT class. All of the other presentations there were science projects, but ours was done in an English class- research based. Only a small number were chosen each year from the many applications, and for as long as the program continued, the kids in my little GT class were invited every year. It was especially wonderful to have my oldest daughter home for a few days, though it made me wish she and her family lived here permanently. With Alana moving home, I'm getting greedy! I now have four out of the six here in San Antonio. We'll all have to get working on Kristinn and Tim, Ryan and Vicki!

being bubbe

Is there any greater love than that a grandmother has for her grandchildren? Oh, I know there are many kinds of love, and each of them wonderful, but until I had grandchildren, I didn't realize how amazing it would be. With Gabriel (5 1/2) and Sofia (3) living far away in Virginia, I don't get to spend time with them as often as I'd like, but even talking to them on the phone, my heart fills up as though it could burst from the love inside. I wish they were here. I am fortunate that Rachel stayed in San Antonio, and I get my Bubbe fix through her three: Aden (3), Abram (2), and Khalil (1 week). I've found that I'm a much more relaxed bubbe than I was a mom. The stress is gone, and I can just have fun with the boys. Whenever I see them, they make me feel like a celebrity, "Bubbe! Bubbe's here!" they holler and run to hug me and kiss me hello. Tonight I stopped by and after their usual greeting, they climbed up into my lap. Abram asked me if he could "see my tongue," so I stuck it out at him, and he touched the tip of it, saying, "Ohhh- I touched your tongue- do it again, Bubbe!" This led to a sticking out of the tongue game that Aden quickly joined, and we laughed until I had tears rolling down my face. My daughter and her husband looked at one another and shook their heads, but pretty soon they were laughing too. From there, we had horsey rides on my knee, singing one of my grandfather's songs- "Pony Boy," over and over. As I got ready to leave, Abram grabbed a popsicle stick and said, "I got my sword to fight the skeletons!" and he jumped around swinging his "sword." "Come on Aden," he continued, "let's sword the skeletons!" and off they went to do battle. Khalil slept the entire time we played and laughed. I kissed the boys goodbye, and Aden said, "Don't go, Bubbe," with Abram repeating right behind, "No, don't go, Bubbe," putting his hands out wide to stop me. I scooped them both up and gave them big kisses, telling them I'd be back soon- to come and close and lock the door behind me so that no more skeletons could get in. They happily complied, saying, "I love you, Bubbe, I love you..." It can't get any better than that- well, except having Gabe and Sofia right here, too.

A Very Sad Day

I just got home from a funeral, and sitting there listening to numerous people talk about Shelley made me think. I wish I had taken the time to get to know her better. She was this amazing woman, a speech therapist in our school. We'd stop and say hello and talk a little every now and then, but I knew her more because she was the mom of one of my son's friends than anything else. About two years ago, Shelley resigned, and it wasn't until after she left that I found out she resigned under pressure- and probably unjust pressure. I saw her one day after that, and she told me she had thought about coming to me (I've been the union rep. since our school opened), but she really felt that everything would work out, and when it didn't, it was too late. I wish I had paid better attention to what was happening because I may have been able to help her. I'll never know now. She loved her job- she loved kids, and losing those sent her into a depression from which she never completely recovered. Last week she jumped off the top of a high parking garage, leaving behind a teenage daughter, a husband, a father and numerous other relatives and friends who love her. Today, as I sat in the church, I heard about how she graduated from college in two years and got her Master's in only one- both degrees with honors. I heard about how she loved to read, to attend live theatre, to travel. I heard about how much she did for others, giving of her time and herself quietly, without expectation. And I thought about how we could have been the best of friends-- not just colleagues. It made me realize how many opportunities are missed because we're always in such a hurry. We slam through our days, rarely taking a precious minute to speak to those who work with us, go to class with us, live with us. I am saddened that for every minute we're wrapped up in ourselves and in our own small worlds, we could've reached out and done something for someone else, and in the process, expanded our world and that other person's too. Shelley is gone, but the lesson she leaves behind will help me to be a much better person, and I am grateful to her for that.

I wish I had gotten to know you better, Shelley. You continue to teach us from your new world. I wish you peace.

Home from NYC

NYC was a whirlwind- never enough time to do all the things I want to do, but, at the same time, I'm always glad to go back home. There for a Theatre Conference, Linda and I stayed at an apartment owned by her cousins on the West End. It was a lovely place to stay- close to the Hudson and to Broadway! Heard two known playwrights speak: Israel Horowitz and Donald Margolies who were both fascinating. Unfortunately, there wasn't time to go to a Broadway production- we did see some local theatre which was very good- some newly written pieces. There is certainly a lot of talent among the playwrights who attended the conference. Had the pleasure of dinner with Diana Spechler who happens to be Linda's granddaughter and just published her first book, Who by Fire. I read it on the plane and was very impressed. Diana was giving a book talk while we were there, so we got to attend that as well. She's already started writing her second book and just turned 30 this week.

Got home and hit the ground running. Rachel is ready to have our newest baby any day now. Alana is in town to help out. Aden and Abram are both doing great- with Abram sleeping in his "big boy bed" with no problems.

I started working on my next play for Hanukkah. Had a brainstorm about a matchmaker while on the trip, so hopefully, I can get it done. Am also editing another play for our Selichot production which is turning out to be more work than I thought it would be.

Wishing I could be at the shore with the rest of the Rice gang, but will have to miss this one. Hoping we'll do it again in the not too distant future. Alan leaves for Mexico Monday for two weeks, so it will be Eli, the dogs, cats, etc. and I to hold down the fort. Eli is in two bowling leagues this summer- one a high school scholarship league and the other his regular local league, but they keep both of us busy.

Last, our theatre group has been asked to perform Darfur Calls once again- this time at Travis Park Methodist Church as part of a project to raise money for the displaced persons of Darfur. That will occur on July 19, so I have much to do to get ready. Most of our original cast will return, but a few cannot, so we have to find replacements, set up a rehearsal schedule, make playbills, and all that goes with mounting a production. It's exciting though- to see old friends and to continue the project that is very near and dear to my heart.

I had a dream that I re-wrote as poetry

Phoenix

Heart melting into tears,
pouring from inside.
A river forms,
carrying me
over and under
the rapids.
Current strengthens-
no more struggling,
I let go,
close my eyes.
and accept the end
to suffering,
to feeling the whole world’s sorrow
streaming out of me.

Hands reach out;
pull me to the bank
Two men- one I know and one
I do not
except from past dreams.
Each full of light,
Each smiling gently,
reminding me
of my purpose,
marveling at a river
made solely of my tears.
A new skin covers me;
A strong heart beats inside.

All Children are Our Children

I just returned from the Consultation on Conscience in Washington, DC, and it was a wonderful experience. The highlight for me was hearing Marian Wright Edelman speak. A friend of Martin Luther King, Jr., she delivered the message to him from Bobby Kennedy, "Bring the poor to Washington," after sharing her frustration with Kennedy about the length of time it was taking to gain federal help for the hungry poor of the Mississippi Delta. King later told his wife, Coretta, " We should get people from all the poverty areas, from the South and from the North, people who don't have jobs or resources...It must not be just black people, it must be all poor people."

Marian Edelman founded the Children's Defense Fund and continues to take on the government daily to provide better care for the poorest among us. She spoke of a little boy who died when a tooth abscess sent an infection to his brain after his mother had gone to several dentists and had been refused by each of them because she didn't have insurance. She spoke of a 12 year old girl who had just given birth, and the new baby's grandmother is all of 24 years old herself. Teen pregnancy is on the rise again in this country. She used the metaphor of a family with six children where the five oldest receive all they need- good nutrition, clothes, activities, a decent education, etc., and the sixth child has none of these things. We are that family-a nation where 1 out of 6 children lives in poverty, and all of the children are OUR children. Why would we want anyone's child to suffer? She also said, "While thirteen million underprivileged children in the richest nation on earth are growing up in indefensible poverty without the most basic necessities of life and a fair chance to envisage a better future, millions of overprivileged children are growing up infected with the affluenza virus-- the spiritual poverty of having too much that is worth too little. Contrary to so called popular belief, the money to end childhood poverty is there. She said, "Every child could be lifted out of poverty for less than 9 months of the tax cuts for the top 1 percent and 4 months of the Iraq War. The irresponsible giveaways to our richest 300,000 Americans need to be reinvested in saving the futures of 13 million poor children. We do not have a money problem; we have a values and priorities problem."

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Her newest book The Sea is so Wide, and my Boat is so Small is a book of letters to parents, teachers, mothers/grandmothers, children, religious leaders, the government... and is worth the read. All proceeds go to the CDF, so that alone is a good reason to purchase it.

On this Earth Day, let's remember to take care of our great mother AND all of her children.

Shalom.